I don't think it's necessary to have any set rules for this. If a married couple's equality is at stake if one takes the other's last name, then which name to go with is not necessarily the couple's biggest problem.
Just do what feels good and right to you. I didn't try and pressure my wife into anything. I said I'd be perfectly content with whatever she chose - whether she decided to take my name or hang on to her maiden name. Or even pick a totally new one.
What I wouldn't do, though, is change my name. For one thing, I like my last name, and in all honesty I am quite proud of it. If it was good enough for my father, grandfather, greatgrandfather, and his father before him, then it's good enough for me. I come from a small country where you could almost tell what part of the country, or even which city a man was from based simply on his last name.
She chose to take my name, and I am actually glad that she did. While I would have been fine with whatever she chose, I do feel that if you're my wife, you take my name, as will any children we may have. That is essentially how I feel about it, and if not being able to justify that outlook according to all sorts of anti-sexist rules and guidelines means I am a prick, then fine, I'll be a prick. I can live with that.
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Who is John Galt?
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