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Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence (yes that was Googled to get this thread up and moving again)
Time to revive with a new question.
This one is too easy, I'm not sure if the movie starts the same way, but even if it doesn't the beginning is so obviously similiar you could just guess it. So this thread better get moving again.
"Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die."
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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink but then held it out over the beer and yelled "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!"
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