i haven't reached the same conclusions or struggled with the issue in the same way... but thanks for the heartfelt post. you seem very honest with yourself and that seems to be a lot farther along than a lot of people who claim to have all the answers.
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If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.
~ Winston Churchill
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