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Originally Posted by maleficent
She came to you after getting out of an abusive relationship at a very young age. (18 is young to be abused) She got herself out of that, but she got herself right into another abusivie relationship.
You have not hit her or intentionally caused her harm, however, constant criticism is a form of emotional abuse. She's tried to get interested in your life, and your interests but you claim "Even so, it still doesn't seem like enough to stimulate an intellectual exchange", so she's not smart enough or good enough for you, and you wonder if it's because you are too critical?
If you can accept her for who she is and what she is, flaws and all, she may not be a brain surgeon, or be conversant in foreign policy, if that's important to you, then move on, if you enjoy her company and how she treats you, and you can treat her the same way... then she sounds like she's worth it.
That being said, common interests are important in a relationship, do you have to share the same ideology? No, I think it makes for more interesting conversation, but it also can add stress.
What are her good qualities?
How do you feel when you are with her?
Can you accept her for who she is, you are grown now, your momma is out of it, can you stop criticising?
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a fair asessment of my own issues - it just adds to the list of reasons to not be in this relationship...i don't claim to be a saint or even a good boyfriend and it's pretty clear that the reason this relationship is ending is more or less my fault, aside from the fact that our interests dont match up...she HAS tried, but i think its legit that it's not enough. i've never outwardly criticized her for not being "smart enough" or "interesting enough" or anything like that - most of the criticism i have towards her stays in my head, though it does shape my actions. the outward criticism i give her is the same as in any relationship. arguements are venomous both ways - she never sees things other people's way (not just me) i always think im right (in an arguement) even though i DO see what people have to say. i dont think the criticism is as bad as you're reading into it, but your point is well taken..
wilbejammin - thanks for the JW's perspective on this matter...it helps, as well...