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maleficent · 08-19-2004, 08:41 AM

I'm reading your post... and I'm getting a bad vibe... There is no disrespect meant here at all, and if I'm reading it wrong, I'm sorry.

She came to you after getting out of an abusive relationship at a very young age. (18 is young to be abused) She got herself out of that, but she got herself right into another abusivie relationship.

You have not hit her or intentionally caused her harm, however, constant criticism is a form of emotional abuse. She's tried to get interested in your life, and your interests but you claim "Even so, it still doesn't seem like enough to stimulate an intellectual exchange", so she's not smart enough or good enough for you, and you wonder if it's because you are too critical?

If you can accept her for who she is and what she is, flaws and all, she may not be a brain surgeon, or be conversant in foreign policy, if that's important to you, then move on, if you enjoy her company and how she treats you, and you can treat her the same way... then she sounds like she's worth it.

That being said, common interests are important in a relationship, do you have to share the same ideology? No, I think it makes for more interesting conversation, but it also can add stress.

What are her good qualities?
How do you feel when you are with her?

Can you accept her for who she is, you are grown now, your momma is out of it, can you stop criticising?

08-19-2004, 08:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I'm reading your post... and I'm getting a bad vibe... There is no disrespect meant here at all, and if I'm reading it wrong, I'm sorry. She came to you after getting out of an abusive relationship at a very young age. (18 is young to be abused) She got herself out of that, but she got herself right into another abusivie relationship. You have not hit her or intentionally caused her harm, however, constant criticism is a form of emotional abuse. She's tried to get interested in your life, and your interests but you claim "Even so, it still doesn't seem like enough to stimulate an intellectual exchange", so she's not smart enough or good enough for you, and you wonder if it's because you are too critical? If you can accept her for who she is and what she is, flaws and all, she may not be a brain surgeon, or be conversant in foreign policy, if that's important to you, then move on, if you enjoy her company and how she treats you, and you can treat her the same way... then she sounds like she's worth it. That being said, common interests are important in a relationship, do you have to share the same ideology? No, I think it makes for more interesting conversation, but it also can add stress. What are her good qualities? How do you feel when you are with her? Can you accept her for who she is, you are grown now, your momma is out of it, can you stop criticising? __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.