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ecomdan · 08-16-2004, 10:30 AM

Alienware? Evil? Am I talking out my arse?

No.

Ensure that you are seated comfortably, for if you choose to read much further you will surely be engrossed it what will be a lengthy and tragic tale.

About a year ago, I had an awful lot more money than I do right now. So I decided what better way to prepare for a future of very little money than to spend all the money I have on the most powerful portable gaming pc that my currently above average affluence would afford.

Naturally, any friends I had at the time with even the remotest interest in computers fell to the ground instantly and died of jealousy. I suddenly found myself alone, but it was okay 'cause I had a brand new cyborg green friend.

A few weeks after we became aquainted, I decided to watch a DVD on my laptop. During a particularly dark scene, I noticed a little bright patch at the side of the screen. "Oh dear, a light leak." I exclaimed.

Actually I wasn't too bothered, but the next day I ran a color test program and noticed a few shadows aswell. This wouldn't do at all. Then the battery refused to charge itself when the mains was plugged in. And then the CD Drive decided that spinning discs was too much like hard work. No, no, no.... this would not do at all.

I returned my laptop for the first time in autumn last year, and asked the nice men at alienware if they wouldn't mind changing my screen, my cd drive, and battery. They said they would be absolutely thrilled to. I said thanks.

Its so long ago I forget how long it took, but I think it a month or so passed before I saw my precious pc again.

Abscence making the heart grow fonder and all, I was understandably eager to get right back onto the streets of Vice City and hurt people.

No sooner than the mostly black loading screen for Windows XP, I spy a familiar little bright patch... windows loads up, I change the background to an in-betweeny greish blue kind of colour, and lo and behold all them little shadows are still there!

Following an enquiry to Customer Services, I was assured that the CS Representative I dealt with had seen the screen being changed himself.

Right.

I'm just seeing things then. Just making it up for my own amusement. Or I'm on acid.

I'm not.

I decided not to just call the guy a liar, because thats not a very nice thing to do. I accepted my crappy screen and took solace in the fact that my CD-Drive was working, and that my battery would charge.

A few months of contented gaming passed, until Far Cry came out.

Shortly before the games release I had noticed that a fair few DVD movies wouldn't play in my laptop. I'd hear a whirring, then a click as the disc stopped spinning. This would continue to happen and the drive would read as empty. I just put it down to dodgy rental discs.

But when Far Cry went through the same whirr-click tomfoolery I was having none of it.

"That CD-Drive is bolloxed" I said.

You do know that by CD drive I do mean CDRW/DVD drive dont you? I just cant be arsed writing that the whole time. Just so you aren't thinking "Ha that stupid fool thinks he can play dvd's in a cd drive" fuckit I'm rambling now... back to the point!

At this point in time (shortly after the release of Far Cry) I was once again wealthy. For whatever reason, I had more money than I could count on a hundred peoples fingers and toes.

I decided that seeing as Far Cry was designed with all you nVidia whores out there in mind, leaving us poor ATi inclined gamers with a fairly diminished experience, I'd need to get an upgrade. And what better time than when I'm sending my laptop back to get fixed? That way I don't have to pay for shipping!

What i really wanted for my laptop my a GeForce FX but nay, it won't fit, or its integrated to the motherboard, or I've been a naughty boy... I just can't have one.

So I ask Alienware if I can have double memory, a proper-bo' cyborg green keyboard, a new hard drive, and some bangin' wireless headphones so that I might fully enjoy the sound of bodies hitting floors and such.

I also tell them that they'll be replacing my screen, and CD-Drive. They ask why, I send them pictures and big long detailed emails telling them why. They agree to carry out the repairs.

Shortly afterward a nice man from DHL calls to my place of work and takes my laptop away to be better-ified.

What seems like years pass in the short space of two months or so (I'm terrible with the memory thing, you'll have to excuse the vague time references... I'm pretty sure of the ballpark however... the ballpark is two months or so) and I get an email to say that my laptop is all better and on its way home.

Much to my dismay it went to my uncles home. The original shipping address when purchased. Although I had specified that I wanted it shipped to my place of work. We'll let that one go.

Abscence making the heart grow fonder and all that, I was understandably eager to return to the streets of Vice City and cause its denizens a little physical anguish and nick some motorcars.

I opened up the box and was immediately and all at once, amazed, disgusted and pissed right off.

Instead of sending me any of the peripherals that I actually ordered the hilarious bastards at Alienware sent me a box that fair enough, did contain my laptop, but also contained someone else's old, used power adaptor, external 3.5" floppy drive and battery. Odd.

Lack of peripherals aside, i still had my laptop back so I was gonna play me a game.

Oh dear, as soon as Windoze boots up I am greeted by a screen so blemished 'twould make the countenance of a mcdonalds employee seem smooth as porcelain. Two white spots the size of tennis balls right in the centre of the screen.

I was so angry I couldn't even play Vice City.

So I sent it back again.

A few aeons pass, and my laptop returns....

I open the lid with trepidation.... check the screen against the light... looks nice and clean.... turn it on... beep.... whirrr..... beep...... whirrr...... hmmm... the screens still black.... why's the screen still black? WHY IS THE GODDAMN SCREEN STILL BLACK?

I shouted this for about ten minutes until I finally realised that shouting would not make the screen turn a different colour. So I rang Alienware.

I asked them to give me a replacement, they said my warranty had now expired, but since their bungling efforts deprived me of my computer for quite a portion of that year long warranty they would repair the fault for free. How nice.

They tell me my system needs a new motherboard.

They tell me they have no idea when they will have this part in stock.

Months later they receive the part.

They replace the part.

Now they say there is “something else wrong”.

That’s all.

All I want is my money back.

Between the initial purchase and my recent upgrade I’ve spent close to four thousand euro on this malfunctioning disaster of notebook pc. I bought it a little over a year ago and in that year Alienware have had my laptop sitting in their facility for four months or more! Its like I have this annoying little shit of a brother to whom my parents force me to lend my pc so he can play his stupid Barney and friends games and get ice-cream all over the keyboard. Each time he gives it back he’s gone and F|_|CK3D something else up.

Amateurs, absolute bloody amateurs.

So get the message, don’t buy Alienware.

08-16-2004, 10:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
ecomdan Upright	Evil ALIENWARE!!! Alienware? Evil? Am I talking out my arse? No. Ensure that you are seated comfortably, for if you choose to read much further you will surely be engrossed it what will be a lengthy and tragic tale. About a year ago, I had an awful lot more money than I do right now. So I decided what better way to prepare for a future of very little money than to spend all the money I have on the most powerful portable gaming pc that my currently above average affluence would afford. Naturally, any friends I had at the time with even the remotest interest in computers fell to the ground instantly and died of jealousy. I suddenly found myself alone, but it was okay 'cause I had a brand new cyborg green friend. A few weeks after we became aquainted, I decided to watch a DVD on my laptop. During a particularly dark scene, I noticed a little bright patch at the side of the screen. "Oh dear, a light leak." I exclaimed. Actually I wasn't too bothered, but the next day I ran a color test program and noticed a few shadows aswell. This wouldn't do at all. Then the battery refused to charge itself when the mains was plugged in. And then the CD Drive decided that spinning discs was too much like hard work. No, no, no.... this would not do at all. I returned my laptop for the first time in autumn last year, and asked the nice men at alienware if they wouldn't mind changing my screen, my cd drive, and battery. They said they would be absolutely thrilled to. I said thanks. Its so long ago I forget how long it took, but I think it a month or so passed before I saw my precious pc again. Abscence making the heart grow fonder and all, I was understandably eager to get right back onto the streets of Vice City and hurt people. No sooner than the mostly black loading screen for Windows XP, I spy a familiar little bright patch... windows loads up, I change the background to an in-betweeny greish blue kind of colour, and lo and behold all them little shadows are still there! Following an enquiry to Customer Services, I was assured that the CS Representative I dealt with had seen the screen being changed himself. Right. I'm just seeing things then. Just making it up for my own amusement. Or I'm on acid. I'm not. I decided not to just call the guy a liar, because thats not a very nice thing to do. I accepted my crappy screen and took solace in the fact that my CD-Drive was working, and that my battery would charge. A few months of contented gaming passed, until Far Cry came out. Shortly before the games release I had noticed that a fair few DVD movies wouldn't play in my laptop. I'd hear a whirring, then a click as the disc stopped spinning. This would continue to happen and the drive would read as empty. I just put it down to dodgy rental discs. But when Far Cry went through the same whirr-click tomfoolery I was having none of it. "That CD-Drive is bolloxed" I said. You do know that by CD drive I do mean CDRW/DVD drive dont you? I just cant be arsed writing that the whole time. Just so you aren't thinking "Ha that stupid fool thinks he can play dvd's in a cd drive" fuckit I'm rambling now... back to the point! At this point in time (shortly after the release of Far Cry) I was once again wealthy. For whatever reason, I had more money than I could count on a hundred peoples fingers and toes. I decided that seeing as Far Cry was designed with all you nVidia whores out there in mind, leaving us poor ATi inclined gamers with a fairly diminished experience, I'd need to get an upgrade. And what better time than when I'm sending my laptop back to get fixed? That way I don't have to pay for shipping! What i really wanted for my laptop my a GeForce FX but nay, it won't fit, or its integrated to the motherboard, or I've been a naughty boy... I just can't have one. So I ask Alienware if I can have double memory, a proper-bo' cyborg green keyboard, a new hard drive, and some bangin' wireless headphones so that I might fully enjoy the sound of bodies hitting floors and such. I also tell them that they'll be replacing my screen, and CD-Drive. They ask why, I send them pictures and big long detailed emails telling them why. They agree to carry out the repairs. Shortly afterward a nice man from DHL calls to my place of work and takes my laptop away to be better-ified. What seems like years pass in the short space of two months or so (I'm terrible with the memory thing, you'll have to excuse the vague time references... I'm pretty sure of the ballpark however... the ballpark is two months or so) and I get an email to say that my laptop is all better and on its way home. Much to my dismay it went to my uncles home. The original shipping address when purchased. Although I had specified that I wanted it shipped to my place of work. We'll let that one go. Abscence making the heart grow fonder and all that, I was understandably eager to return to the streets of Vice City and cause its denizens a little physical anguish and nick some motorcars. I opened up the box and was immediately and all at once, amazed, disgusted and pissed right off. Instead of sending me any of the peripherals that I actually ordered the hilarious bastards at Alienware sent me a box that fair enough, did contain my laptop, but also contained someone else's old, used power adaptor, external 3.5" floppy drive and battery. Odd. Lack of peripherals aside, i still had my laptop back so I was gonna play me a game. Oh dear, as soon as Windoze boots up I am greeted by a screen so blemished 'twould make the countenance of a mcdonalds employee seem smooth as porcelain. Two white spots the size of tennis balls right in the centre of the screen. I was so angry I couldn't even play Vice City. So I sent it back again. A few aeons pass, and my laptop returns.... I open the lid with trepidation.... check the screen against the light... looks nice and clean.... turn it on... beep.... whirrr..... beep...... whirrr...... hmmm... the screens still black.... why's the screen still black? WHY IS THE GODDAMN SCREEN STILL BLACK? I shouted this for about ten minutes until I finally realised that shouting would not make the screen turn a different colour. So I rang Alienware. I asked them to give me a replacement, they said my warranty had now expired, but since their bungling efforts deprived me of my computer for quite a portion of that year long warranty they would repair the fault for free. How nice. They tell me my system needs a new motherboard. They tell me they have no idea when they will have this part in stock. Months later they receive the part. They replace the part. Now they say there is “something else wrong”. That’s all. All I want is my money back. Between the initial purchase and my recent upgrade I’ve spent close to four thousand euro on this malfunctioning disaster of notebook pc. I bought it a little over a year ago and in that year Alienware have had my laptop sitting in their facility for four months or more! Its like I have this annoying little shit of a brother to whom my parents force me to lend my pc so he can play his stupid Barney and friends games and get ice-cream all over the keyboard. Each time he gives it back he’s gone and F\|_\|CK3D something else up. Amateurs, absolute bloody amateurs. So get the message, don’t buy Alienware.