Prophecy

Warning, this chatlog is kinda long, but I thought it was funny so here it is ...
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girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
girl: well sorrrrrry
girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
girl: of what?
girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
girl: For???
Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
girl: Hey sorry
girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
girl: alright *PIC*
girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
girl: That was me back in may
girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
girl: what?!?
girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
girl: well lets see
girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see pimples and the hair around your asshole.
girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: It looks disgusting.
girl: OMFG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

__________________
La Disciplina È La Mia Spada,
La Fede È Il Mio Schermo,
Non salti Ciecamente In Incertezza,
E Potete Raccogliere Le Ricompense.