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Mantus · 08-14-2004, 01:28 PM

I think I wrote this in 1997. I believe it was posted on TFP 2.0 (not sure). Yet claustin8605’s post made me think that perhaps I should re-post it. So here is some vintage Mantus thinking.

~/~

Taking your loved one for granted.

I went though hell just to understand such a basic concept. The worst 6 months of my life. I wish to pass on my lesson so others wont have to go through what I went though.

We expects a lot from your significant other. The two of you have been together for a while and had disagreements every now and then. Those disagreements sometimes turned into fights. Yet in the end you stayed together. After a while you got used to being able to get angry with your partner without experiencing any major consequence. You forgot that they have limits. The resilience and bond of the relationship is taken for granted. We get comfortable with arguing, insulting, and not working things out because so far as we can tell, such things have don’t have any consequences, the next day they are still there. It becomes a habit.

Sooner or later everything spills over the brim. The degradation is slow and it never ends because of any specific argument. It ends when one of you looks back and realizes that over the past several months or even years there has been nothing but pain in the relationship. Then it’s over. What’s even more unfortunate is that most people walk away from such a disaster without realizing what happened. And if they ever get back together, because the lesson has never been learned, it all starts over again.

Think about your friends. Notice how we don’t argue with them constantly? If we did we would not be friend for long. We consider our friend’s feelings; we respect them and care about how we are viewed in their eyes. Yet we see so many couples doing the exact opposite to each other.

This same situation applies to family members as well. We think we can abuse them all we want because after all, they are family. Yet ten years down the line you will never hear from them accept at weddings and funerals.

This is was my lesson and because I care for the girl I knew what had to be done. I sat down with her and told her all of the above. I told her that we have lost respect for one another. I told her that we take each other’s feelings for granted.

~\~

Thankfully she understood. Peace ensued. The relationship ended two years later but we are still friends. I see so many people make this mistake over and over again. The very same girl had the such problems with her mother. Sometimes I snap at my parents. It’s common, because it’s so easy and the consequences aren’t obvious until it’s too late. I hope this strikes chord for some.

Mods, I know this post can also go into the Living forum, please move it if you feel it belongs there.

Cheers.

08-14-2004, 01:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	Taking your loved one for granted. I think I wrote this in 1997. I believe it was posted on TFP 2.0 (not sure). Yet claustin8605’s post made me think that perhaps I should re-post it. So here is some vintage Mantus thinking. ~/~ Taking your loved one for granted. I went though hell just to understand such a basic concept. The worst 6 months of my life. I wish to pass on my lesson so others wont have to go through what I went though. We expects a lot from your significant other. The two of you have been together for a while and had disagreements every now and then. Those disagreements sometimes turned into fights. Yet in the end you stayed together. After a while you got used to being able to get angry with your partner without experiencing any major consequence. You forgot that they have limits. The resilience and bond of the relationship is taken for granted. We get comfortable with arguing, insulting, and not working things out because so far as we can tell, such things have don’t have any consequences, the next day they are still there. It becomes a habit. Sooner or later everything spills over the brim. The degradation is slow and it never ends because of any specific argument. It ends when one of you looks back and realizes that over the past several months or even years there has been nothing but pain in the relationship. Then it’s over. What’s even more unfortunate is that most people walk away from such a disaster without realizing what happened. And if they ever get back together, because the lesson has never been learned, it all starts over again. Think about your friends. Notice how we don’t argue with them constantly? If we did we would not be friend for long. We consider our friend’s feelings; we respect them and care about how we are viewed in their eyes. Yet we see so many couples doing the exact opposite to each other. This same situation applies to family members as well. We think we can abuse them all we want because after all, they are family. Yet ten years down the line you will never hear from them accept at weddings and funerals. This is was my lesson and because I care for the girl I knew what had to be done. I sat down with her and told her all of the above. I told her that we have lost respect for one another. I told her that we take each other’s feelings for granted. ~\~ Thankfully she understood. Peace ensued. The relationship ended two years later but we are still friends. I see so many people make this mistake over and over again. The very same girl had the such problems with her mother. Sometimes I snap at my parents. It’s common, because it’s so easy and the consequences aren’t obvious until it’s too late. I hope this strikes chord for some. Mods, I know this post can also go into the Living forum, please move it if you feel it belongs there. Cheers.