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First -- the Kantian would not say porn is wrong for...well, whatever that reason is you listed. She would argue that porn treats the woman (or man) as an object, and so merely as a means and not as an end.
Second -- but my point is just that the existence of different moral systems does not entail that there is not a correct one. In fact, I could draw evidence from the fact that under most moral systems, more or less the same things come out right or wrong.
Third -- Why do you assume a general utilitarian balance needs to exist? Aren't you just tossing objective morality away up front just to reintroduce it through utilitarianism in the back?
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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."
"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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