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Just ask yourself if she's worth the risk. If I was dating someone with the disease and we looked at eachother in terms of a longterm relationship like marriage, I'd go through with it.
On one hand, herpes isn't a life threatening disease. The only case I can think of with it being life threatening is if a woman has open sores while delivering a baby, risking transmitting the disease to the baby which could be lifethreatening to the child. In those cases though, doctors perform a C-section.
Since herpes can shed even with no signs of open sores you're always at risk of getting it, but using a condom, and a barrier when performing oral sex can of course help lower the risk of getting the disease.
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