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Old 08-10-2004, 05:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
Cedar
Crazy
 
Location: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
I am not crazy because I don't want kids! A rant, a discussion, whatever

I am childfree.

I am 27 years old and decided when I was 8 that although I did want to get married someday, I never wanted children.

It's not about my career. Plenty of women in my profession have children. It is partially about my health: I have very severe back problems and a pregnancy could further damage the nerves in my back and leg. It's not about being a maverick, or revenge. I didn't have the greatest childhood, true, but I turned out okay as an adult.

I just don't want children.

I don't particularly care for children. I don't particularly care for anyone I can't have an adult conversation with. I hate the very idea of diapers, breast-feeding, and that having a kid means complete unselfishness and unconditional love. I am narcissistic and can't stand the sound of screaming children. I like being able to spend my money on myself, my family, and my husband, and don't want to buy children's anything, ever. I want to drive my Miata and sleep when I want. And I'd appreciate it if my doctor recognized that my choice is a legitimate one made by a sane, stable person and tied my damn tubes so my husband and I wouldn't have to use condoms AND the pill because that's how terrified I am of getting pregnant.

And for those who ask:

Yes, it's different when they're my own: I can't send them home.

No, I'm not especially glad that my mother wasn't childfree, because if she was I wouldn't be around to care.

No, I don't think making the decision to not have children is selfish. I think it's more selfish to not consider all the ramifications of having children in the first place, which is what too many people do.

What family name?

Yes, I realize I'm smart and attractive, as is my husband, but that does not mean I'd make a good parent. You know why kids and dogs flock to me? It's because I don't like them.

I'd rather regret not having children than regret having them.

needed to write that. thanks.
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Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
I am large. I contain multitudes.

-Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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