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Put some peanut butter on it - let the cop's dog or another dog carry it away for you, hopefully while its owner looks on in disgust. After awhile, all the dog owners may avoid your part of the neighborhood.
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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