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An actual customer call-an apartment dweller-I did building maintenance for the owner
Me: Hello?
Customer:I was trying to defrost the freezer and I think I broke something
Me: What were you using?
Cust: An ice pick
Me: And what is the freezer doing now?
Cust: Hissing
Me: Yes, you've broken it.
Cust: So what do I do now?
Me: Open the windows, take the girls and go for ice cream down the street.
After that was a discussion about coolers, ice for temporary food storage and tenant responsibility for damages.
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There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity -Big Daddy
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