Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How the hell am I going to do this? (relationship advice)

roofles · 07-28-2004, 09:16 PM

Trust and paranoia issues aside, a long distance relationship is not easy at all. Neither is your first semester at college. When I first hit the dorms I felt that the issue with being out of the house for the first time was exaggerated. It simply wasn't this great terrible mess it was made up to be. However, I did appreciate my parents' company more as a result. You're in a good situation since you have your 3 best friends going with you. Friends are absolutely the best support for this sort of thing. You might want to make it clear between the four of you that the experience may become hard for you in ways you can't predict and that you guys will need to stick with each other. Another consideration is the kind of school you are going to and your training as a student. Have you taken many rigorous courses in high school? Do you have your study skills down pat? For me, I had no study skills upon entering college. The greatest learning for me was about myself and specifically how I learn. Thats what I mean by study skills. If you dont know how to teach yourself the subject matter, you will have to learn sooner or later and it takes time. Is your college a quarter or semester system? Big difference in the pacing of your studies.

I'm bringing all this up because its a bunch to handle on top of a relationship. Doubly so if you and your girl run into some chop.

Regarding your girl friend leaving high school early. Its not necessarily a bad thing, but like you mentioned the reason she does it is very important. I left highschool after I finished 10th grade because I was just spining my wheels. It was a small town high school, so had I been in a larger city with more options in school it could have been different. Either way the whole high school experience was just dragging me down and by the end of 10th grade I had solid D grades across the board. Very unlike me, I should say. What should worry you and others about your girl leaving high school early is that she will essentially give up one year of the 'childhood' (well, not exactly childhood...but you understand me, no?). Put simply, everyone needs a certain amount of time to fuck around. You don't to try and get serious before you've gotten your fill.

This is all that comes to me now. If this seems a bit long winded, I just hope that what I wrote will make you examine some aspects that didn't occur to you before.

07-28-2004, 09:16 PM	#18 (permalink)
roofles Upright Location: San Diego	Trust and paranoia issues aside, a long distance relationship is not easy at all. Neither is your first semester at college. When I first hit the dorms I felt that the issue with being out of the house for the first time was exaggerated. It simply wasn't this great terrible mess it was made up to be. However, I did appreciate my parents' company more as a result. You're in a good situation since you have your 3 best friends going with you. Friends are absolutely the best support for this sort of thing. You might want to make it clear between the four of you that the experience may become hard for you in ways you can't predict and that you guys will need to stick with each other. Another consideration is the kind of school you are going to and your training as a student. Have you taken many rigorous courses in high school? Do you have your study skills down pat? For me, I had no study skills upon entering college. The greatest learning for me was about myself and specifically how I learn. Thats what I mean by study skills. If you dont know how to teach yourself the subject matter, you will have to learn sooner or later and it takes time. Is your college a quarter or semester system? Big difference in the pacing of your studies. I'm bringing all this up because its a bunch to handle on top of a relationship. Doubly so if you and your girl run into some chop. Regarding your girl friend leaving high school early. Its not necessarily a bad thing, but like you mentioned the reason she does it is very important. I left highschool after I finished 10th grade because I was just spining my wheels. It was a small town high school, so had I been in a larger city with more options in school it could have been different. Either way the whole high school experience was just dragging me down and by the end of 10th grade I had solid D grades across the board. Very unlike me, I should say. What should worry you and others about your girl leaving high school early is that she will essentially give up one year of the 'childhood' (well, not exactly childhood...but you understand me, no?). Put simply, everyone needs a certain amount of time to fuck around. You don't to try and get serious before you've gotten your fill. This is all that comes to me now. If this seems a bit long winded, I just hope that what I wrote will make you examine some aspects that didn't occur to you before.