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I have such a problem. One of the things that helps me is, assuming I have prior notice to a gathering, I'll have a small dessert glass of port. It's not enough to get buzzed, but it does help ease the nerves. And I feel a lot better about a glass of port than I do about popping anxiety pills.
The "Fuck it" attitude does help, too. And you'd be amazed at how well "Hi, I'm [myname]" works.
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