Mantus

ManWithAPlan,

I'll start with the obvious. Each couple has different chemistry. People have to feel out limits in their own relationships. I actually know girls who want their boyfriends to be jealous and protective because they see it as a sign of affection. Other girls will go mad if you try to control them. Men are different too. Some feel they have to be macho others are laid back and confident. Obviously people are hard to change. I think it is important to find a middle ground between what you and your partner on this issue. For example I am currently dating a shy chick. I feel pretty confident about her attraction for me. We communicate well and have a strong friendship. Because she has self image issues I stretch my limits a little further for her since her confidence would benefit from other guys flirting with her.

Otherwise here is how I cope with this issue.

- I think that I should get the majority of her time when it comes to her contact with guys. I don’t mind her having guy friends but I should be her best male friend. Obviously this can’t be forced. Keeping her away from other guys and thus making me her only guy friend would not make me her best friend.

- I want to be aware of her friend and be a part of her social life. If your significant other hasn’t introduced you to their friends then you are their fuck toy and/or monetary assistance supplier. This applies to both sexes. There are acceptations; for example some people are shy of social situation. Sometimes girls can be oblivious of guys with ulterior motives. It’s important to point to such facts gently; otherwise the girl will think that you are just jealous. She will see it in time if you simply mention it.

- I am very lenient with guys who have their own girlfriends. Such friendships with girls have been of great benefit for me in the past. They allow you to talk about intimate things with less risk of developing feelings for each other.

- Guys who were her friends from before she became your girlfriend are almost always harmless. Even if they are pursuing her they have either failed in the attempt or are too shy to ever make a move. The worst that can happen is a random infidelity due to stress on your relationship. Keep the relationship healthy and you will never have to worry about these guys.

- The average single guy is a pretty broad description. You really have to take it on a case-by-case basis. Obviously if some guy she barely knew asked her for dinner then it is pretty clear that he is trying to make a move. If your girlfriend accepted such an offer then your relationship was over to begin with. Otherwise work and sport friends are pretty common. There will always be occasions where your girl will end up hanging out alone with one of them. The frequency of such meetings will vary based on the situation, be rational.

If your girl begins to spend too much time with another guy then you should see that as a sign of trouble in the relationship. Separating your girl from other guys will only buy you a little time but in the long run such bids to control her will damage the relationship even further. The best way to avoid infidelity is to prevent it by keeping your relationship healthy though communication, friendship, trust and passion. If you know what your girl wants and go out of your way to satisfy those need then she will not need other guys. If a girl loves you, even a half assed attempt to give her something she wants is worth so much more coming from you then the best attempt coming from another man.

Cheers.