Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Does your girlfriend have guy friends? You OK with that?

Vaultboy · 07-26-2004, 01:24 AM

I dunno. I hear what a lot of you are saying and I agree with those that talk about trust, etc, but I also think you are oversimplifying things.

I think it is easy for a girlfriend to be seduced once a certain amount of stress enters the relationship. I dont think I need to qualify how easily human will can be broken and the mind clouded sometimes. I laughed at the comments about "if your relationship is secure you can go away for a month and have another guy live with her". People get lonely. People get stressed. Things happen that they come to regret later on, but that can't be undone.

And even if you girlfriend doesnt stray sexually, there are other ways for her to betray your trust that you wouldnt pick up so quickly. Apart from being you SO's lover, you should also be his/her best friend, but very often, emotional comforting or even intellectual sparring with someone else can lead to attachment and (co)dependancy. Whilst your SO would perhaps not sleep with this other person, in a sense he/she would be provising your SO with something very personal that you dont/cant. I'm not saying that you should be abe to fulfill all you SO's needs, but you should fulfill all the core needs.

Frankly, I dont know which is worse: having your SO fucking someone else or becoming attached to him/her emotionally/intellectualy and confiding in him/her.

I, personally, have no problem with my girlfriend having male friends, as long as they behave themselves appropriately. I do have problems with her going out on date-like scenarios with her male friends, though, for the reasons outlined above. As for myself, whenever I'm in a relationship, I stop one-on-one outings with my female friends. They understand why. In general, Also, I think that when you're in a relationship its easier to deal with coupled friends (on both your and your SO's sides), since single friends isee things differently as they dont have any third party to consider.

07-26-2004, 01:24 AM	#57 (permalink)
Vaultboy Addict Location: Third World	I dunno. I hear what a lot of you are saying and I agree with those that talk about trust, etc, but I also think you are oversimplifying things. I think it is easy for a girlfriend to be seduced once a certain amount of stress enters the relationship. I dont think I need to qualify how easily human will can be broken and the mind clouded sometimes. I laughed at the comments about "if your relationship is secure you can go away for a month and have another guy live with her". People get lonely. People get stressed. Things happen that they come to regret later on, but that can't be undone. And even if you girlfriend doesnt stray sexually, there are other ways for her to betray your trust that you wouldnt pick up so quickly. Apart from being you SO's lover, you should also be his/her best friend, but very often, emotional comforting or even intellectual sparring with someone else can lead to attachment and (co)dependancy. Whilst your SO would perhaps not sleep with this other person, in a sense he/she would be provising your SO with something very personal that you dont/cant. I'm not saying that you should be abe to fulfill all you SO's needs, but you should fulfill all the core needs. Frankly, I dont know which is worse: having your SO fucking someone else or becoming attached to him/her emotionally/intellectualy and confiding in him/her. I, personally, have no problem with my girlfriend having male friends, as long as they behave themselves appropriately. I do have problems with her going out on date-like scenarios with her male friends, though, for the reasons outlined above. As for myself, whenever I'm in a relationship, I stop one-on-one outings with my female friends. They understand why. In general, Also, I think that when you're in a relationship its easier to deal with coupled friends (on both your and your SO's sides), since single friends isee things differently as they dont have any third party to consider. __________________ "Failing tastes of bile and dog vomit. Pity any man that gets used to that taste." Last edited by Vaultboy; 07-26-2004 at 01:30 AM..