Well I just got home from visiting my girlfriend, and all seems to be well. We had a somewhat lengthy conversation about what happened last night, and we both made it clear that this was a one time deal. She told me that it wasn't planned at all, and it wasn't a fantasy of her's either -- it just happened. My girlfriend said she wasn't upset about it at all since there was nothing emotional involved between me and her friend and because she was there too. We've both made it very clear that this does not in any way mean we can screw around with whoever we want as long as there aren't emotions involved. This was a one time thing and it's going to stay that way as far as I can tell. Good.
What troubles me a little, though, is her friend. It turns out she's never even made out with a guy, let alone given head. I feel really bad that this was her first experience. I know no one was forcing her, and she could have stopped at any time, or she could have simply not let things escalate to the point that they did, but I still feel bad about it. She's told my girlfriend that she thought it was cool, and that she didn't mind at all since it was us (my girlfriend and I), but I'm just not sure about that.
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Originally posted by wilbjammin
I don't see why. I have turned down several "opportunities" in the past few years, and I have no regrets about it.
I don't know if this whole situation that you're describing means that much to you, your girlfriend, or her friend but I suggest that you do think about it. What I find curious is that there was a history leading up to this of her telling you that she wanted to have her best friend involved. Why did she want her best friend involved so much? Why did she agree?
What are you going to do if she wants to include her best friend again?
I'm of a small minority here that feels differently about what sex should be used for that you could figure out from my other posts. I certainly suggest that you consider the meaning of these actions and what you want sex to mean for you, as well as having a discussion about what you want sex to mean with your girlfriend.
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No, the situation I have described did not mean much to any of us, as far as I know. I can't quite speak for the friend involved, as I haven't discussed any of this with her, but judging from what my girlfriend has said, it didn't mean anything to her either. The "history" leading up to this event feels mostly coincidental to me. She told me tonight that when we discussed a threesome it was all jokingly, as I had thought. The fact that it actually happened is definitly eyebrow raising, but I think it's purely a coincidence. I really don't think it's a matter of why she
wanted the friend involved -- from what I've heard from her tonight, she's pretty neutral; didn't want it to happen, but didn't not want it to happen. Why the friend agreed is really beyond me. I guess she figured "what the heck."
I don't know what I'll do if she wants to include the friend again. One day at a time.
I've had several conversations with my girlfriend about what we want sex to mean to us, which is probably why we haven't actually done it yet. I'm not very much into promiscuity, nor is she. I think if there was actual penis-in-vagina action going on, the friend wouldn't have been involved at all.
Anyway, everything feels just like it did with my girlfriend before last night -- we both understand what's going on and are okay with it. As far as I'm concerned, this is all that matters.