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Originally posted by Arsenic7
And it's not just that I'm not getting any....I have been away from her from months at a time and had no problem just talking on the phone. It's only when she's around and I STILL don't get any that I get irritable and depressed.
I think at the root of the problem is my (probably mistaken) belief that if she really found me attractive she would want it more often, or at least get turned on when the opportunity to have great sex presented itself.
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Yup. That's how it often makes me feel. It's not the "not getting any", really, that bothers me...it's the "not getting any when I am around the woman I love and desire" that ticks me off and makes me feel undesireable. I think partly this is because men are visually oriented sex maniacs. We have to like what we see in order for us to want to fuck it. And because a man's sex drive is built differently than a woman's, he can want sex even if his life outside the bedroom is quite hectic. For a woman, it's different, methinks... It seems that all other areas of their lives need to be tip top for them to be able to get in the mood.
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I try to do romantic things for her but it seems those don't work. It all depends on when she feels like it. For example, the problem reached it's peak half a month ago on our one year anniversery. I went to visit her in her hometown, bought her gifts, we rented a hotel room to give us some privacy.
We took a shower and I gave her a massage and went down on her for a while.....while she watched tv.....a documentary on liposuction and gastric bipasses non the less and refused to turn it off because it was "too early" to have sex. After the show was over she tried to get me to make a pass at her but ended up getting frustrated and snapped at me for not turning her on. It was crazy. Later that night she tried to give herself to me but I stopped her...too late though, the damage was done.
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Man... That's pretty bad. "Too early" to have sex? She must get pretty wiped out after sex, I presume. I dunno, if that happened to me as you described it, I probably wouldn't want to even bother trying to make a pass anymore. Then again that pretty much IS the case with me anyway. I do still make a pass at her almost daily, just to get the "I'm tired/I've to study/I've to play Nintendo/I don't feel good" excuse.