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I don't see this as being dependent on you, exactly. I think all it argues for is the need for her to get better at silencing the critical voices when you're not around. When I'm with people I love and I have tangible evidence of their feelings for me, I'm great. But when I'm not around them for a while, and if I start to get into a bad, self-loathing mood, I start to wonder why they would want to be with me, and wonder if they've figured out what a loser I am and whether they've stopped loving me. Now, this used to manifest itself in needy behavior - making people jump through a lot of hoops to prove they still loved me, so I could be sure. Now that I'm a bit more self-aware about it, I just deal with it myself, and those around me know what I'm doing and why I'm distant, and that it has nothing to do with them.
So I say give the girl some time. She knows it's an issue, she's figuring it out and making an effort. Try not to look at this as a problem, but like you're on a really cool journey with her while she discovers who she really is. Just stay true to yourself, and be honest with her - when she's coming from that self-loathing place, just be up front: "Hon, this isn't you talking, it's the little gremlin that tells you bad things about yourself."
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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