Arsenic7

So after a year of somewhat sustained sexual activity I think I'm getting the technique portion of the act down. My problem recently has been that my girlfriend doesn't really have the highest libido in the world. She enjoys sex but a lot of times when one of us tries to initiate the situation she will end up not so much in the mood leaving us both frustrated.

We've gotten a little better about that but sometimes now it seems like we hardly do anything sexual. I generally want it more than she does and though it's not a big deal for me to masturbate or something I sometimes feel like she just doesn't have any desire to please me outside of our once a week great sex session. Hand and blow jobs are generally out of the question for her unless it's foreplay for something bigger so no cumming is allowed. I don't think she's let me cum from a blowjob for like....11 months or so.

I guess my question confusion is this.

I don't want her to do anything she's uncomfortable with but at the same time it hurts me to think that she simply doesn't WANT to please me in some ways and, frankly, I don't want to have to screw her every time we're sexual. There are other things I'd like to experiment with.

Overall, she IS just getting to know herself sexually, though slowly. She doesn't masturbate...well, she says she has but that she doesn't get any pleasure out of it. On top of this, she has never had an orgasm without the help of a vibrator (which we use for foreplay and during sex, but not alone usually.)

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you solve it? Currently I'm being optimistic and hoping we can talk it out calmly but she is a very emotional person. A few times she says she has also let me do things to her when she didn't really want it or when it hurt. (both times I stopped as soon as I realized but just thinking about it makes me feel bad.)

Usually we can talk our differences out but I'm afraid in this case if we don't do something more than just talk it will never get solved.

She can be difficult, but I love her. I guess I'm looking for words of encouragement here and I know I won't necessarily get them as most of you are sexually open people and it's hard for you to understand those who are struggling with their own sexuality.

So should I just suck it in and sneak off to the bathroom and jack off when I'm feeling antsy and can't sleep at night? What should I do? She said she'd feel uncomfortable if she woke up to me masturbating.

I'm confused. Sorry for the long post.

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