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Are your feelings of distrust of her real, or imagined, because she doesn't open up to you.
Don't think the worst unless you have proof.
Trust her, show her you trust her, until you have reason to not trust her anymore.
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But, if you don't feel you can get past this, then it's impossible to have a real relationship unless trust is there. You will be just fine without her. She is not responsible for giving you your life, you are responsible for that. Don't be so dependent on her, depend on yourself. Get out and do stuff for you, because you want to do them.
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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