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First, quickly, it's Gaim, not gAIM or GAIM. Legal issues.
Anyway, I use Gaim in Linux and AIM in Windows, with DeadAIM as well.
I'm not sure what you mean about adding someone to an existing conversation tab, but as far as the contact icons, you need to go into tools > preferences > interface > buddy list > turn off "show buddy icons."
Personally, while I'd love to use Gaim in Windows, I've never been satisfied with the stability of GTK for Windows while using Gaim. Maybe it's changed, I dunno. It's unfortunate, because most problems with Gaim in Windows have nothing to do with Gaim, but nonetheless, they're things that will keep people from using it in Windows.
I suppose that's to be expected though - it *IS* a native *NIX application.
I'd like to try kopete as well, but last time I did, about a month ago, there was a problem because I had too many buddies or something. Some bug that needed to be fixed.
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Le temps détruit tout
"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling
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