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Old 07-13-2004, 01:10 PM   #23 (permalink)
TheDave87
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Location: The Amish Wastelands of Ohio
SO there we were.... riding through the hills of West Virginia in a 1956 Chevy pickup. Granted, most of the truck had rusted away, but what was left was still completely drivable, especially if your name is Irwin and you have no teeth left. I'm sitting there riding shotgun next to Irwin with a seat spring poking me squarely in the left ass cheek, and I was suddenly feeling mighty nervous about our cargo. We were hauling seven 55 gallon drums filled to the brim with shotgun shells... aside from the seven drums of 12 Gauge glory, we carried one single frozen pig. There was nothing special about the pig. It was just your average run-of-the-mill dead pig which had been cleaned and frozen and was awaiting consumption at the hands of Irwin. The pig was placed ever so carefully inside one of the barrels of shells, which was only half full. Irwin had done this so that the pig wouldnt roll around and fall out of one of the numerous holes in the bed of the Chevy. We had been travelling for about an hour when Irwin hit a pothole in the dirt road. Suddenly a load roar erupted from the bed of the truck, and above us could be seen a 38 and one half pound pig soaring through the air. The pig kept climbing in altitude until it could no longer be seen. Irwin was a little mad, more at the loss of the pig than of the shotgun ammo, but to this day, he swears that that single airborn pig is why aliens abduct cattle. "They just want to git they wierd twisted space asses some bar-b-que!"
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