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It is sad when people hold grudges. The result can be alienation the rest of their life. They really have no idea what kind of things they can be missing out on.
On the other hand it can be painful when family slights you and hard to forgive. I hope that I alienate no one because of intended or pervsieved slights.
My former pastor and his wife became close friends of our family to the point that my brother and I call them Aunt N and Uncle D. They attended my granduation, my wedding, and visited me in the hospital. They ACTED like family more than many of my other aunts and uncles. Most of my extended family lives out of state and some across the country so it's hard to be emotionally close to them. I am glad to say that I hold no grudges and would show respect and show up at their funeral at least.
Uncle D is suffering from Alzheimers and it has been painful for us to watch. Even my hubby which has only known them for about 5 years has shown sorrow at his suffering. He has known their love and friendship and feels close to them as well as my family does.
I think what makes the difference - They showed love to everyone they met. They were generous, helpful, friendly, and reached out to many. They made an impact on many lives and I'm sure many will grieve their passing when it comes.
Those that don't grieve and have held any grudges for any reason are the ones missing out.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma. 
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