Quadraton

I once got into a locker room fight with the dreaded school bully in grade 8. I tried to talk my way out of it, but he wasn't interested in talk. So to mine and everybody else's surprise, I cleaned his clock, and sent him home with a concussion. I left relatively unscathed, and became the school hero for the rest of the year. Even the teachers, who knew the kid's reputation for violence, and mine for avoiding violence, were on my side. It was a very self-gratifying period for me.

But a little older, and a little wiser, I generally avoid fighting like the plague. Even when I'm on the ice (hockey), and people start throwing themselves in my face, I just turn around and skate away (I play non-contact amateur leagues nowadays). I usually get rewarded with a slash to the back of my leg, which in turn gives me a chance at a power play goal. Yay me.

I see fighting as nothing but a retarded act of self-agrandising that proves nothing. And why is it everybody who gets into a fight seems to think they're Bruce Lee. It's like they all picture themselves in their heads doing cool Kung Fu moves, but end up slapping each other like little girls. Excuse me if I sit back and laugh at your stupid ass.

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"A witty saying proves nothing"
- Voltaire