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To me, sounds like you are both a little in the wrong.
His attitude about it is pretty immature, but his "demands" are pretty easily met.
All it takes is a wake up BJ that he wasn't expecting or for you to be fired up and ready to go every now and then without any work on his part. He isn't wanting to forego the foreplay each and every time, it's just some times he wants a little nookie without working for it.
My wife can be frustrating at times. She'll be emotionally fired up for sex - but because of her depo shot the pluming isn't always cooperative. Short of busting out the lubes it can take up to 30 minutes of "tongue time" to get the juices going. If you have to routinely do that as a guy, it can get frustrating.
She repays me for my efforts with an unsolicited BJ while I'm just sitting on the couch or browsing the web. She knows that it takes work to get her going at times and that she appreciates the work that I have to put into it.
You never know - simple little things like that may make him quickly forget about this...or at the very least much less of an issue than it is.
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