brinkn1

Yes! It's disturbing AND funny!

So there I am listening to Bambi go on about how she can make all my dreams come true. And I say, "Oh yeah? Even the one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doodoo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa's tummy-tum?"

or

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin, and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?

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I'm melting down your 20 inch rims to build 5 foot plates for the shins of my 30 foot android.