Kostya

Dear Academy:

Fuck you you fucking fucks. Now, I'm sure you're all sitting around in your penthouses snorting coke off high class hookers' gentalia and feeling indignant that the average film nerd dares to challenge your illusion of legitimacy, but if you'd actually climbed off your 50 million dollar yacht to watch the movies you gave awards to maybe you'd understand my RAGE. You have no balls, (metaphorically speaking) for shame. Let's take for example your spectacular failure in the 70's, is there a toss up between Rocky and Taxi Driver? Fuck no you morons, one's a shitty movie written by a semi literate assclown, and the other is a classic piece of cinema. Could we give the Best Movie award to an actual good movie? No let's give it to the demotic piece of celluloid shit because it's so popular. You fuckers! I can't believe an institution which is supposed to be recognising achievment in an art form gave an award to ROCKY over Taxi Driver. Rocky is such a bullshit reaffirmation of the American dream, it's so fucking ridiculous, if slightly enjoyable in a guilty way (like masterbation). If Rocky was actually a good movie, Rocky would have died in the gutter and nobody would have cared, none of this land of opportunity crap. What, Rocky's great cause it tells kids that anyone can succeed, even inarticulate burnt out street scum can through ridiculous luck and by running around a lot and standing on suitably patriotic locations and jumping. Great symbolism Mr Stallone, why didn't you just smother me with the Stars and Stripes? What a totally forgettable piece of shite, I could have made this movie, at the expense of my self respect, but still, the film is mediocre at best, the acting is shit, direction standard and boring, music, kind of cool, but all in all, nothing worth remembering. Where Rocky is Nixon's version of the American wet dream, Taxi Driver is the American nightmare, a movie tha ruthlessly tears the ass out of the shitty myth Rocky is based on. Travis Bickel's not living in the Land of Opportunity, he's living in a squalid shithole, and he's not about to get a phone call that will change his life, he's going to live and die in the same shithole. It's brilliant, it's harsh, it's confronting, it's as relevent now as it was then. Yet no, the Academy gave the Best Film Award instead to the safe movie, the nice family film that gives us all a warm fuzzy feeling inside when Adrian joins Rocky ringside at the end... Ohhhhhhhh, I'm filled warm fuzzy RAGE! Basically they gave the Best Film award to the cinematic equivilent of masterbation over Taxi Driver, I hope they crash their Mercedes, into Sylvester Stallone's face. Not to mention, Kramer Vs Kramer over Apocalypse now, Shakespeare in Love? I hope you're all happy now. If you get the Best Film award from now on, it means 'Most popular and safe film we could find' bullshit. The Academy's biggest mistake was existing.

Sure, maybe the members of the Academy aren't rich coke heads, but I like to demonise the subjects of my rants, it makes it easier to dislike them...