I think Dorito2 makes a good point in saying that really it's the same situation either way: in order to accomodate the other partner, one has to do something that does NOT turn them on.
I know that with one of my ex's things were that way. She wanted things hurried, I needed time to get warmed up (although sometimes we seemed to switch roles...but we never wanted the same thing at the same time). It had nothing to do with either of us being immature, impatient, or selfish...we simply had different needs and desires. We made compromises, and had a lot of discussions and things worked out.
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it's all about self-indulgence
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