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I don't know what to say. You seem like a nice person. Don't hate yourself. Try to find humor in the tragicomedy which is life. This is my way of coping anyhow.
But then again -they say there are too many drunks at an AA meeting. So perhaps I shouldn't say anything. It's not like I have excessive wisdom or anything. My self loathing does stop when I laugh however.
I wish I was funnier.
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