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lady · 06-26-2004, 04:33 PM

I'm not sure if this will make sense but here goes...

The bf and I have a difference of opinion that is causing tension and junk. He feels foreplay does nothing for him and wants me to let him have 1 time out of 10 where he doesn't have to bother with it.

I find this insulting because it suggests that he's merely 'putting in time' until I give him the go ahead to have intercourse. If I'm not turned on enough, I don't feel like having sex. period. It's not a matter of me being selfish and wanting extra attention, I simply am not turned on enough to have sex without enough stimulation beforehand.

He doesn't believe that women take longer to 'be ready' for sex (in general) compared to men.

He gets turned off if I tell him to slow down. I get turned off if I feel he's rushing me or "putting in time". It's really frustrating because we love each other and when sex is good, it's fricking amazing, but when it's not, it's just frustrating.

Help...

06-26-2004, 04:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
lady Addict Location: Vancouver, BC	Foreplay vs. the whole shebang I'm not sure if this will make sense but here goes... The bf and I have a difference of opinion that is causing tension and junk. He feels foreplay does nothing for him and wants me to let him have 1 time out of 10 where he doesn't have to bother with it. I find this insulting because it suggests that he's merely 'putting in time' until I give him the go ahead to have intercourse. If I'm not turned on enough, I don't feel like having sex. period. It's not a matter of me being selfish and wanting extra attention, I simply am not turned on enough to have sex without enough stimulation beforehand. He doesn't believe that women take longer to 'be ready' for sex (in general) compared to men. He gets turned off if I tell him to slow down. I get turned off if I feel he's rushing me or "putting in time". It's really frustrating because we love each other and when sex is good, it's fricking amazing, but when it's not, it's just frustrating. Help... __________________ Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt.