brianna, I think we probably all agree for the most part and that it's just an issue of semantics. While I don't buy the "rape is strictly an act of violence" argument - there's too much anthropological evidence otherwise - I don't think that it means instead of addressing perpetrators we should address victims. I think the main point trying to be made is simply that, just like anything else, one can put themselves at greater risk for anything. Discounting the totally random, broad daylight occurances and such, there is certainly a way to be more careful about rape - some of which are outlined above. Do I think women should stop wearing what they would like to wear? No. But I do think that it is important to be aware of the SEXUAL side of rape and that sending out an *overt* sexual signal can (not will, but can) put one at greater risk. Simply put, I just think it's important that people are on their toes, not that they necessarily change their behavior. Hence the difference between understanding what a victim to do to minimize risk, and blaming the victim.
As a side note, I have heard of that book and it does look interesting. I remember not long ago watching a special on, I believe, the learning channel about a similar topic and it was very intriguing. Killer sperm, I tell ya...some interesting stuff
Oh and, as a further aside, and as an attempt to get this thread back on topic, I think the main issue was clouded by the example given in the thread starter's post. (Not the thread starter's fault, just the way it happened). Whatever it may be - putting on a bra, exercising more, watching a show you don't like - I think it's important to understand that relationships are give and take. I don't see anything wrong with a person kindly requesting something of their partner because it makes them uncomfortable, no matter how trivial it may seem to the partner. If something is trivial to one person but has meaning for the other, I think it's important to be willing to seek out compromises. As someone suggested regarding the bra, if the issue is that bras are uncomfortable for her, well maybe it's good to go with her to find a comfortable bra. Then, you're both comfortable with the situation. Or, using another example, sometimes a woman may look at a man, or vice cersa, and say "you're going out in THAT?" I don't think there's anything wrong with this, and I do think it's rather immature for a person (and both sexes do do this) to assert their individuality about something that is otherwise trivial simply because someone doesn't agree with them. If one person doesn't like another outfit, or article of clothing, and the other has no special reason to be wearing it, then compromises should be sought.
There's so much oversensitivity to indivualism that people are forgetting how to compromise and how to take another person's feelings into account. If your girlfriend thinks a shirt is ugly on you, don't wear it around her. If you are uncomfortable with your girlfriend not wearing a bra, she should be willing to at least EXPLORE possibilities to make you BOTH comfortable.
Of course, all this applies to relationships that go beyond the superficial status of so many today. This regards relationships between two people that are seriously searching for someone to love, not someone to have some good sex with for a few months. If all you're looking for is sex and no commitment or serious relationship, then by all means be as picky and individual as you want. But if you wnt a relationship that works and has the potential to last, both people need to be prepared to make compromises on what may seem to be the most trivial things. Everyone has their pet peeves, and most are really stupid.