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Originally posted by Scipio
II'm sure they'll get the kinks worked out in a year or two. Besides, it's better than the new Air Force BDUs.
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Yeah, I was gonna mention that. What the hell are these guys thinking?
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Have you seen the new uniforms the Air Force is rolling out? Holy Christ. When I enlisted in the AF, I did so with a sense of pride and duty. I was going to get hard and serve my country. With these new uniforms, I feel like I am serving as a backup dancer for Cristina Aguilera. What the fuck!?! This, of course, is an unfair criticism of our deliberate, thoughtful, brilliant leaders. They probably spent two years and millions of dollars coming up with these new uniform designs. After staring at pictures of these uniforms though, I am convinced that there are only three ways these idiots could have arrived at this design as the Air Force's new uniform:
1) The enlistment numbers for the Air Force are dropping and those interested in careers in the armed services are opting for the Army or Navy or Marines. The Air Force has lost that air of sexiness and intrigue that the other three branches are capitalizing on through TV ads and war coverage on CNN. To combat this, and to attract 18-21 year olds from urban areas who are finding opportunities in military service more and more rewarding, the AF leadership has commissioned Operation BlingBling. The new uniforms are the first phase of this operation. They will make the AF seem sexier, edgier, more dangerous…not stultifyingly tedious and mundane like we know it to be. Berets will be optional with the do-rag and Tupac-style bandana as sanctioned alternatives available upon requisition request. Diamond-encrusted neckware will also be permitted as long as the chain can fit under the collar. To round out this new 21st century uniform is optional footwear. The Air Force has chosen to move away from the patent-leathers and sturdy workboots and will begin phasing in footwear from Timberland and Nike. By midyear, airmen across the globe should be able to rock the beige "timbs" as the kids like to call them. Under the auspices of Operation BlingBling, our enlisted men will look "fly," "dope," and/or "da bomb."
2) The new threads are an interesting blend of blue camoflauge. I suppose they are meant to allow airmen to blend into their surroundings. Apparently, the AF brass is under the impression that we all ACTUALLY WORK IN THE AIR!!!! This is important when you consider the number of AF personnel who are attacked and injured by hawks, falcons, and other birds of prey. Rumor has it this was high on the list of issues to resolve for the 2004 fiscal year. The brass was sick and goddamn tired of losing quality people to mid-air bird attacks and those pesky airmen hunters from the Midwest and deep south.
3) The head of the requisition office for the entire branch got the inside track on the bedspreads and curtains from all the Courtyard by Marriott's in Florida who are in the process of updating their room décor. He got a good deal and decided to use them as uniforms. Don't ask me. I'm not gay.
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Blue cammo?!? I mean, c'mon...really...
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony
"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus
It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.
Last edited by Bill O'Rights; 06-23-2004 at 07:58 AM..
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