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How can you determine if someone really is going to change?
I believe it should be based on their actions and what they say. If you don't feel the sincerity of what they say and or you doubt that they truthfully mean it
How can you put your trust in someone who shown you that they're willing to violate your trust?
I can't answer for you, but like I said, I based it upon actions and words. More-so based on their actions.
The potential to change doesn't always (or usually, in my experience) translate into change. I haven't heard much of a reason in these threads for someone to have a renewal of faith in someone who's cheated on them.
I'm sorry I can't translate all of the events regarding what I did to show that I changed but their is a significant difference from myself now, and three years ago. Regretfully, you'll either have to take my word for it or throw it out like others have. My whole attitude regarding my relationship with her has changed and we came out of it a bit more tattered then we should have, but we came out of it and we're still happily together and it opened our communication greatly.
Sure people change, and they should change, but many don't. The truth is that by accepting a cheater back in your life you are, in essense, enabling the cheater to continue to cheat. The message is - it is ok, in the end it all works out. I don't know what kind of real consequences you could give to cheaters that says "this is wrong, I won't allow you to hurt me like this" while at the same time keeping them close-at-hand.
If my understanding of what you said is that it basically says that they can do it again and again, I have to disagree. Look at my posts, look at Nitrox's posts, look at Kazic's post. Her forgiving me has not given me the greenlight to go ahead and cheat on her again and again and again.
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