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The Ten Commandments
I got this out of a really, really old joke book.
There's a pastor delivering a sermon to his congregation about the Ten Commandments. He begins by listing them off, in case the parishoners didn't quite remember them all. When he got to "Thou Shalt Not Steal," he marked that a man in the front row became very uncomfortable, fidgeting around and looking very conspicuous. He thought nothing of it, not wanting to judge, and continued his sermon. But as soon as "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" left his mouth, he noticed the same man smile, then sit back relaxed. This gave him some reason for concern, so after the mass, he approached the man.
"Excuse me," he began, "but I noticed you looking quite uncomfortable for the better part of my sermon today. Is there anything you'd like to discuss, son?" The man laughed, and explained to the father what had happened.
"You see," he said, "when you mentioned 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' I thought to myself, where's my umbrella? But when you mentioned 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where it was."
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-Slauncha
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