pig

Great Dow, there's a lot of poison in this thread. As a person who has been cheated on, more than once, I can honestly say that I think some of you are making way too big a deal, or at least a lot of the nastiness is uncalled for. The sweeping generalizations don't really cut it - it depends on the person and their emotional state at the time. In my opinion, when a person cheats in a relationship, it's a clear sign that the relationship is in trouble, obviously. But if you were paying attention, then you already knew that before you found out the other person cheated, and frankly - the worst part of the pain in finding out that you've been cheated on is the realization that you can't lie to yourself any more. The relationship really was in trouble, even if you didn't want to admit it.

I'm not excusing the actions of people who have cheated, but I would also say that we're all only human, and we all do things that we later regret or wish we had done differently, and that's part of learning. I would say that the phrase that started this whole thing, probably is more accurate for a short period of time. A person who is in an emotional state and relationship in which they are unfaithful is probably more likely to cheat, until they've had the time to (potentially) learn from what happened and realize that coming clean almost always is easier in the long run. However, I know too many people who have changed as they've grown older and matured to say that you can place that kind of stigma on people for their lives. Furthermore, the more of that attitude that you profess with such vehemence, the less likely you are to find out the truth about your significant others past and / or if they're cheating on you now.

Additionly, I would like to add that cheating on your SO is a moral transgression, but not the only moral transgression. Before one starts making sweeping moral statements and castigating people who have cheated before so strongly, I'd make sure that you're morally perfect. Glass houses and stones. For example, in the relationships where my girlfriend has cheated on me, while I don't approve of the way they handled their situations, I can honestly say that I was not a perfect boyfriend, either. I did things that I knew weren't going to make my girlfriend happy. Does that make what she did morally justified? Well, no, not really, but then again I honestly think they were reacting to a situation in the best way they knew at the time.

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