Quote:
Originally posted by doncalypso
It is my personal belief that monogamy is more desirable than polygamy. Just because in nature most animals have more than one mate doesn't mean that we humans should do the same. Yes humans are animals... but what differentiate us from other animals is the fact that we're capable of rational thoughts and actions that go against instincts if need be.
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I agree. That is why I am for polyamory, not monogamy. I think that many of the current beliefs upholding monogamy are irrational. Here are the obvious problems I see with it:
Everyone has different wants and desires, and everyone has something different to offer. It is very rare for two people to be able to satisfy each other's needs (for sex, intimacy, or other things), especially not for a whole lifetime. That is because people are different, and don't always completely interlock. Some people solve this through casual sex, one night stands, and "hooking up." These solutions are all well and good, but they don't necessarily foster intimacy. Other people solve this problem through monogamy. Unfortunately, because their desires do not match up, they may become needy and try to pressure the other person.
For instance, say a woman in a relationship wants to have a lot more oral sex than the guy does. She might end up bugging him a lot, or suppressing her own desires. Either way, when the desires of monogamous people don't completely interlock, there will be inevitable conflict. She must compromise, and make a choice: would she rather stay with the guy (who may be a perfect partner in all other areas) or break up with him and try to find another guy who likes oral? A much better solution to this problem would be for her to stay with the original guy and continue the relationship with him, AND see another guy who is interested in oral sex. That way, she doesn't feel denied, and her boyfriend doesn't feel pressured.
Long term pair-bonding is a perfectly way to handle relationships. However, it is not the only valid, or preferable relationship structure for everyone. Some people might be more comfortable with more casual interactions. It depends on the type of attraction between them, and how their desires match up. Therefore, I think it is silly that monogamy is considered the default, and only acceptable way to handle relationships.
Forcing people to have only one lover at a time is as silly as forcing people to have only one close friend at a time, or forcing a country to trade with only one country at a time. Polyamory is like free trade: everyone gets more of everything.