Since when is being involved in one's own life a bad thing? Having decisions explained, and being able to discuss those decisions with one's own parents has nothing to do with whether or not a parent has authority or anything of the sort. TYhere's a reason there's a stereotype of the rebellious teenager - by that age humans are BIOLOGICALLY driven to leave home. If you want to have a healthy relationship, this is something that needs to be understood. Biologically, teenagers are being told that they should be making their own decisions, yet someone else is still making them for them, so they need to be given some sort of say - even if it isn't the final say - in their lives.
Parents are not dictators. At least, not good parents. By the time a kid is a teenager (which, just by using common sense, is around the age gondath was talking about), if a parent doesn't have a good reason for a rule, it shouldn't be there. Who has the final say? The parent for sure, but that doesn't mean it can't be discussed with the child. The entire reason I have respect for my parents is because, for the most part, I've been able to play an active role in my own life. If I didn't agree or understand something, I could discuss it and most of the time they would explain it. It's not hard to give a good explanation - the kid doesn't have to agree with it, the point is simply to give them a reason so they at least understanbd where you're coming from. People wonder why there are so many bad parents these days, it's pretty hard to know what to do when your parents just made decisions without giving more of an explanation than "because I said so." People wonder why kids don't listen to their parents - perhaps it's because they've never been given a good reason to. Kids are smart - even if they don't admit it out loud, when you give a reasonable reason for your decisions, they respect it, even though they may disagree with it.
If you want the surest way to a relationship lacking mutual respect and understanding, keep giving answers like "because I said so." Every person I know whose parents used that as their predominant excuse, rather than open dialogue, is worse off because of it. Parents are not infallible and by the teenage years, kids know this, so stop acting the part. Kids know by then that, yes, sometimes parents are simply wrong in their decisions, so admit it. For every one time a parent admits they were wrong or misguided, a kid will accept the parent's decision 20 more times. This isn't brain surgery - I've known this since I was a kid myself - the most powerful tool of manipulation to getting what you want is admitting when you're wrong.
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Now im not saying a conversation about decisions isn't a good thing, but that obedience is a better life lesson than teaching them that if they dont want to do something, argue about it until it turns out your way.
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No one said anything about arguing. There's a HUGE difference between an argument and open dialogue, or a debate if you will. And, actually, being able to present your own point of view and make a case for it in a diplomatic way is an even greater lesson than obedience. It's the stuff that makes good leaders and decision makers, and it's because of all those years of DISCUSSING decisions with my parents that I'm good at LEADING decisions now.
Of course, one thing that hasn't been mentioned is that the best way to handle it is not to discuss the reasons for decisions at the time of their making, it's to discuss them beforehand. Have an open dialogue with children about how you feel, and what your concerns are, and likewise theirs. If you're on the same page and understand where each other are coming from, it's much easier to simply make a decision and they understand it.