Quote:
Originally posted by fairsquare
How do you think your kids have been doing in this split situation? How did that go with telling the man you loved that you couldn't go through with it. Did that happen after being apart for a bit and then having feeling of guilt develop, or did you just know right away.
All of this is very personal. ...but then again, thats why places like this are kinda nice.
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fairsquare...the kids have been doing pretty well. My ex went overseas to work on a cruise ship for 7 months, coming back to in January. As I have no family here in my town, and I work full time in a pretty demanding management position, it was kinda tough doing it all by myself. There were times when I felt like I was losing it, but I'm pretty strong, so we all pulled through.
He is back now, and after spending time in the house with us, moved out next door after it became obvious neither of us wanted to reconcile with each other (it was what we were both thinking may happen when he got back - we were both wrong). The kids are now benefiting from both parents being around every day, but not fighting like we used to when we were together. I am happily single and fiercely independent. And the kids continue to excell academically and develop as amazing little individuals. He and I have never - and will never - badmouth each other in front of the kids or fight for custody in courts. We made that pact the night we separated. We have completed our financial settlement and all we need to do now is divorce.
Re: the man I loved (note the "d")....he was pretty shattered when I told him that I wasn't moving down. He has two kids of his own, so he understood, but said I should bring the kids with me. I said I couldn't take them away from their Dad, as to his credit, he really is a fantastic father. When I thought of telling the kids I was leaving them, I felt physically sick and overwhelmingly guilty. But I thought it would lessen the impact on both my husband and the kids. But I came to my senses and they will probably never know what I was planning to do.
The man and I spent 4 weeks together at his place while the kids were away with their Dad, and it was after about the first week I realised I could not be with this person in a relationship. As I mentioned in another post about internet relationships (yes, I met this dude on a forum), the sex was amazing - coming from a sex-less relationship, it was the best thing I could do to reawaken my passion - and I thank him for that. But I could not tolerate him as a person, and the thing came to a mutual end about a week after I arrived back home from staying with him. We are no longer in touch. But when I look back on the situation, I would not have changed anything. I needed to take that risk and see if he was the one, otherwise I would have always wondered. Life is about taking risks and following your heart, and regret is futile.
And you're right about it being personal, but I believe life experiences are there to share if you're comfortable with doing so. Good luck with your choices.