Skettios

I want to thank a lot of you that posted. It's good to see that I'm not alone in all of this.

I also wanted to clarify something. I think from reading my post that a lot of people see me as the type of guy that just sits back and waits for good stuff to come to him. The truth of the matter is that I'm really active, I have a wonderful social life, a decent job, and am really active volunteering for the local Youth Development Corporation. Through them, I've got a wonderful mentee to hang out with whenever I want, in addition to my other friends, and I really like him.

I'm not dying for a girlfriend, my problem is, I get really close to these girls, and don't ever feel like I'm a qualified candidate to be with them. That makes me take a critical eye against myself, and all of a sudden, I realize everything that feels wrong with me, and end up floored. I'm not upset with who I am, outside of the company of other people, I feel wonderful. Still, my problem is that although I get to do a lot of stuff, and meet a ton of amazing people, in the end I still feel left out. Maybe psychologically, I just have too much baggage, I grew up a fat ADD kid. I don't know what the problem is, I just know that I would do anything to change it.

As I said before, I don't expect an answer from this thread, I just want to know that I'm not alone in this, and my heartfelt thanks to those of you who have posted and let me though that I'm not.

I'll address some individual posts below...

MrSelfDestruct, I know what you mean, when I find the answer to getting over that hurdle, I'll PM you immediately.

Wilbjammin, it sounds absurd, but the only thing that has really been comforting me lately is the fact that I understand that I am not a unique or beautiful snowflake. It sounds like backwards thinking, but I really do believe that there is some wisdom in that.

DelayedReaction, Thanks for the support, you'll see that my above post agrees with you. I don't think I'm a loser, but I also don't feel like a winner... it's a tough call.

PoweredbyPorn, welcome to the club.

Jay Francis, suggestion noted, and congratulations.

Anamoly_, I think your reply is probably one of the most thoughtful on here. I know that intangible quality you're talking about, and almost feel like I must subconciously broadcast it.

Redgirl and Raenna, if the world were populated with the type of woman that exists on the TFP, the tilted Sexuality board would be EMPTY. Thanks for stopping in though.

timalkin, I don't want to get into an argument about weight on here, but you have to realize that you can be extremely motivated to lose weight, and still not get anywhere. No one ever wants to be fat, and a lot of people try to lose weight and fail. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try, but it does mean, I'm going to wonder when I feel like I'm trying my damnedest and nothing is happening. Anyway welcome to the club.

Jakeweiser, thank you for sharing your story with us. That was exactly the sort of post I was hoping for when I started this thread. I hope things work out for you.

Makeficent, no you don't sound like my mom, but understand that nothing you're saying is really new to me. The thing is, I don't ever feel like a loser until I start thinking about relationships, and then I feel like a toad. I get a lot of validation from friends and family, people will tell me how much they enjoy talking to me, or spending time with me, that's what makes this so difficult. Anyway thanks for your input.

gondath, it's nice to see that my problem isn't just related to my side of the fat issue. I too think dating is overrated, but at the same time I don't know. I don't usually have fun on dates, I feel like I get pigeonholed into trying to hard to be entertaining. I'd much rather just be friends with a girl, and then make a transition into dating, but apparently this doesn't work. Anyway thanks for sharing.

__________________
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.

Frederich Nietzsche