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At the time I said it, I meant it. Looking back, I realize that I didn't love most of them.
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Love's not something you can look back on and see. It's a momentous occasion, in whatever sense.
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I am a genuinely selfless person, so doing the "little" things comes naturally to me. But then when a relationship is ended, people think I was "putting on an act" or doing it to "impress people" when that's not it at all. When a girl is my significant other, she gets treated as a significant part of my life.
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Well, you may be a genuinely selfless person, but what, exactly, does that mean? That you perform the role of significant other as you see it, to its utmost perfection? That relationships are to become a sort of trial of your ability, each honing it further so that you become the best there is, the best there ever will be? I dunno, it is the semblance of selflessness, but is it selflessness really? Or, is it a way to improve yourself, as you say here:
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the majority of this entire situation is nothing more than an attempt to delve into the socio-psychological impacts of my previous behavior and how to address certain deficiencies from the past in an effor to quit repeating them in the future.
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and here:
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I guess it's more of dissatisfaction of doing the "right things" not because anyone expects it of me, but rather because i expect it of myself. If I know I could be a more attentive and thoughtful significant other, then I do so. I hold myself to really high standards, and if I don't meet those standards I'm disappointed in myself.
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As you describe them, your relationships appear to be a bit onesided, you are not --to use a pop. psych. cliché--"letting in" the general recipient of you displays of affection, except the "few" girls you mention. If you actually wanted your partners to play a significant role in your life--and you must, since you're dissatisfied with the way your usual relationships go--you will have to do two things: find a person whom you consider worthy of your company--I use <i>worthy</i> here because it seems to me that you're using relationships as a way of self-improvement, a way to practice your self-control, which does not make for a lasting committment, as it connotes an appreciation of the object of your desire as an objective to be achieved, not as a living, breathing, choatic, unknowable subject--perhaps I get a bit romantic?; second, on finding that girl, guy, whatever, you ought invest yourself in him.her.it, and not in the performance of the role you find appropriate. Satisfaction is hard to achieve, indeed.
You obviously are attentive, just find someone you're content focusing on, because until you find that person--finding him or her may require a serious refocusing of your expectations--you will never be content in a relationship. You'll continue to get bored and move on.