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Originally posted by maleficent
When you say I love you, do you mean it?
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At the time I said it, I meant it. Looking back, I realize that I didn't love most of them.
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This is not trying to sound negative, but it sounds like you are all about the hunt, and once you get the girl, then you get bored, or frustrated, or whatever.
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Yeah, I used to really be like that. It would hit in the fifth or sixth week of a relationship, and I'd be out of there quick. I learned to stick around over time, but even then the frustration was there.
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Same advice applies as the Lonely Hearts thread, be yourself, people will like you fine for you, you needn't try so hard to impress the ladies, and it's a lot less work for you.
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I think that's part of the problem. I don't do it to impress others--I do it because I know I have the ability to maintain standards of behavior. If I know I could handle a situation better than I have, I try to find a way to keep from repeating the mistake. Over time, I've pretty much removed the behavior that has cost me relationships, and truly am a caring person. If there was one thing I am passionate about, it's doing what I can to show those I spend my time with that they are appreciated. I do it with family, neighbors, friends and significant others. It's just that when I feel the need to move on or that a relationship is going nowhere, I end it. Prevarification is not something I'd like to receive from a girlfriend, so I don't give it to them. I'm straightforward and honest why I'm ending the relationship. I've sat and had one cry on my couch, bawling her eyes out, for 45 minutes before I respectfully escorted her to her car.
I am a genuinely selfless person, so doing the "little" things comes naturally to me. But then when a relationship is ended, people think I was "putting on an act" or doing it to "impress people" when that's not it at all. When a girl is my significant other, she gets treated as a
significant part of my life. That sort of treatment comes with the territory. But when it's over, they expect me to still be as solicitous of their feelings and sensibilities and defend them to others. It's laughable. I'm reminded of Chris Rock's
Bigger and Blacker when he says "Accustomed to...accustomed to...what the fuck is accustomed to? You go into a steakhouse, you accustomed to eatin'. You leave, they don't owe you a fucking steak!" It's not that I'm bitter or vindictive, I just don't provide what I did in the relationship...kinda makes sense from the steakhouse standpoint in my opinion.