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I just wanted to say that <b>nanofever</b>'s advice is fantastic. I've never thought of that before. I seem to be the butt of many a loaded question in my relationships and I've never known how to properly tell someone to say what they mean and mean what they say.
Of course I understand the importance of being able to read between the lines, and take a hint, and to sense when things aren't as they should be (part of intimacy is 'reading' your partner) but some times you've just got to be blunt and not play mind games.
As for your problem, mrbuck, your response was correct too. Saying you'd rather have her smoke would lead to bad things, as would saying you'd rather have her overweight. The correct answer is neither.
A little weight gain, winter weight, a gradual, er, softening, as we get older is one thing. If someone exercises and eats right they don't have to have the perfect weight or a perfectly-toned body. Being lazy, overweight and complaining about it is unacceptable, but being active, overweight but determined is fantastic.
Be super-extra-totally supportive of her for quitting smoking. But view any weight-gain as a <i>possible</i>, <i>temporary</i> side-effect. It's not necessarily a 'one-or-the-other' situation as some have pointed out.
I'm not sure how to say it delicately, but if I were in your position my response would be that I still love her and am attracted to her with any possible weight gain, but if it's unhealthy, or she sees it as justifiable because she quit smoking, then I'd have a problem with it.
I apologize for typing so much.
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