Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
So I guess all this is saying you need to stop the gifts and gestures if they're coming from a sense of obligation. A girl should be wanting to date you for YOU, not for the gifts and gestures she thinks she's going to recieve after she starts dating you.
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that's part of the problem...the things i do are spontaneous, thoughtful, and many a time creative...The roses I'd actually picked up from a wedding reception I'd helped cater at no cost to myself, and arranging them was something I did on a whim on my way home from work as I was passing her neighborhood....The things I do have very little monetary worth, and I do them more to show appreciation....they're like sun-showers in july--you don't know when they'll come, but they're a pleasant experience...
I guess it's more of dissatisfaction of doing the "right things" not because anyone expects it of me, but rather because i expect it of myself. If I know I could be a more attentive and thoughtful significant other, then I do so. I hold myself to really high standards, and if I don't meet those standards I'm disappointed in myself. If I know my girlfriend really loves flowers, sweet letters, and me cooking her dinner, I do it because I know if I don't, I'll think less of myself. I make a commitment to myself as part of my lifestyle to go above and beyond with every person I meet to show them my appreciation and some level of kindness--it just goes to a greater degree when I'm dating someone.