rat

Just got done reading the Lonely Hearts Club Thread, and though I empathize, it's for reasons almost the opposite of those in that thread. I say this not to brag, but felt that a new thread would be better for a different issue than drawing that one off topic.

My problem with the opposite sex, and namely significant others lies in the fact that I'm too good at being the right guy. I know how to connect with people on a personal level and gain trust in a very short time. I know the right things to say at the right moments, when to be vulnerable, when to be strong. I pay attention to the minutia, down to the color of her toenails, layers of her hair, the way her outfit matches--and I comment on them. Loyalty and sincerity come like breathing to me, and the thought of cheating, if entertained for longer than a fleeting moment, is crushed by my dedication to the relationship I am in at the given time. I know how to build people up, how to play off their confidence and their anxiety, how to get what I want without ever having to ask.

And I absolutely fucking hate it. It's not necessarily an act, but more a lifestyle that I can enter and exit on a whim. Parents of all but one of my previous girlfriends liked me upon their first conversation with me, and I'm great with both younger and older siblings. Hell, the grandparents I've met genuinely like me. I just go into "Southern gentleman" mode and I find people of previous generations meshing their personalities with mine flawlessly. With the exception of that one girl whose parents didn't like me (I never took the time to sit down and win them over), every single one of my girlfriends has said straight-out, even to this day, that I treated them better than any guy they've dated. Teddy bears when they're feeling bad, roses at random, at one point arranging 8 dozen single stem roses to spell "I LOVE YOU" below a 6-dozen rose centerpiece after work on a rainy 1.30am morning, simple things like telling them how much I appreciate their company, hugs, kisses, "I love you"s in person and "I miss you"s over the phones, visiting them at work, or calling to see how their day is going. Every single little thing that women complain guys don't do--I do it. I'm also genuine when I do it because I do it almost out of a sense of duty--kinda like these are the things I should be doing, so I go ahead and do them. And I hated doing it with all but one of them.

At this point, that one doesn't have the time to deal with the likes of me, or maintain the friendship that we'd had for the past 2 years since we'd dated. Do I love her? More than I'd thought to love anyone. Is it pure romantic longing? No, it's more of a solid foundation rather than a vaulted ceiling. Like the currents of a large river, the love runs deep and swift, but with little of the surface-show that shallow rapids have. Would I forsake any other woman for her? At this point, the answer is "more than likely" rather than simply "yes." Does that make me any less loving? To me, no. But once again, she doesn't have (or won't make) the time to see me while she's home for the summer, so I've been pursuing other routes though not very seriously.

The crux of the situation lies in the fact that I have a reputation locally for being that amazing guy I described--right up to the point where I get tired of dealing with the women I spoil and move on to something new. All the girls I know do is bitch about how their boyfriends or the guys they are interested in do so much to anger them. They complain about how insensitive the guy is. But they don't do a damned thing about it. And then they tell me what a great guy I am....and I kinda "gee shucks, thanks" the situation away because I'm not gonna steal another man's lady. However, the single ladies also know that I have a habit of going through women (not playing them, but tiring of them) the way some people go through cars--six months here, two months there, four months here and so on. They also won't even go on dates with me because of my reputation for enticing women I like into relationships. The charm, when turned on, has been rarely denied.

Like I said, I'm not posting any of this to brag--I don't do that with any of my posts here on TFP. Rather, I do it as verifiable evidence that doing everything right may pay off in the short run, but in the long run, if they can't accept imperfections, you'll end up miserable regardless of your actions. That, and maybe looking for some help to get around the fact that I'm considered to be too smooth with women from my past.....

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