Thread: Sweet Dreams
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Old 06-12-2004, 05:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
ForgottenKnight
Jesus Freak
 
Location: Following the light...
Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
A bone chilling breath across my cheek
A dead stillness in the air
Eyes adjust to the darkness
Very good way of setting a errie feeling and mood to the poem.

Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
All to be seen in the shroud of black
Two orbs of sapphire, glass
Their gaze fixed upon my face
Continuing with the spooky mood describing the orbs as eyes in darkness watching your every move. Very good!

Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
Age, wisdom reflected in those staring depths
Holding under key solutions of this mystery
Drowning out hope, leaving only veiled truth
A dark wisdom killing hope. I like it.

Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
In the same instant both comforted and terrified
Torn with indecision to heed or defy
Unspoken orders emitted from those spheres of ice
No longer time to choose
Nice way of showing both your feelings as well as the power of the orbs.

Quote:
Originally posted by amonkie
Alone, but haunted,
by piercing orbs of sapphire glass.
That last line is my favorite. I like how you described the sapphire glass's gaze as piercing.
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