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Having been there before, I would suggest the following:
1. You have to realize that most likely, you're not going to meet a girl that's going to "save you." I would say never, but I never say never. I'm like James Bond. Just as well, you're probably not going to meet a girl that's going to make you happy until you pop out of this rut. Chances are, the only girls you'll attract when you're feeling really mopey and self-defeatist are girls that are also having massive insecurity issues. Maybe this is what you need - I guess that's up to you.
2. I would suggest not only resuming an exercise / healthy diet routine to help boost your self-esteem, but also that you think about some other things that you enjoy doing. The exercise/diet thing because of the following: even if you feel like it'll never work, I think you'll find that you'll feel better if you know that you're doing what you can to control your self image and your self esteem.
I know that when I was younger, I felt a lot like you described. I got in shape, and got really involved in playing soccer and playing music and reading and lot of other things, and when you get involved in something, whatever it is - you tend to draw people to you, because you're interesting, and you've got something to offer. It brings confidence and an attitude of liking yourself. People tend to respect people who respect themselves, and like people who like themselves. Period. I think if you do things only to attract other people, you tend to come across as shallow. Really let yourself enjoy your life, and I think you might be surprised at the effect it has on others.
3. As far the situation with this particular girl - tough to say. I've definately been in the so-called "Friend Zone" before, and sometimes that's just the way it goes. That's not to say that you can't jump out of it, but it usually takes just the right moment and set of circumstances. I've personally found that if you approach everyone, girls guys whatever, with the intention of being friends and really getting to know them, that whatever it is that makes physical chemistry tick takes over the rest.
Another tip : Give yourself a break. Do what you can to become more like the person you think you want to be, but remember that none of us is perfect. Remember Stewart Smiley " I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me..."
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style
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