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Old 06-11-2004, 05:44 AM   #28 (permalink)
Derwood
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Quote:
Originally posted by Derwood
The only reason parents need to give for their rules is "Because I said so."
I am quoting myself because I think I was unclear.

My point here is that as long as you are a minor and your parents are supporting you, then at the base level, their rules are their rules, period. As long as they aren't breaking the law or are abusive, then wha they say goes.

I am not, however, saying this is great parenting. Quite the contrary. I am a parent of a 15 month old girl and even though she doesn't understand much of what I say to her, I never tell her "no" without giving a reason. Admonishment comes in the form of "No, we don't hit the dog" or "If you pull on the cord the lamp is going to fall on you", etc. I hope I can continue to provide reasons for my rules and discipline in the future.

HOWEVER, a parent giving a reason for the rule does not mean it's open to debate with the child. If I read you correctly, you don't like the fact that parents have rules without reason and that these rules should be discussed for "fairness." While I agree that good parenting would mean that you understand why your parents are making the rules that they are, I don't agree that any rule that the child disagrees with should be open for discussion. Sometimes parents really do know best.

I guess I was lucky, because I grew up in a very loving home with rules, some strict, some not. I can't pretend to understand what life is like growing up in a single parent household, or one with parents who are drunks, negligent, etc. I'm sure the hostility and anger there are something I can't comment on. Perhaps a poor choice of example, but I just saw "8 Mile" and that was about the polar opposite of my upbringing.
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