View Single Post
Old 06-08-2004, 04:26 PM   #8 (permalink)
EVIDENT
Tilted
 
Location: DFW
Quote:
Originally posted by maleficent
Did I read that right? You've been cheated on seven times? With seven differernt women/girls? That's harsh.

There's a thing called self fulfilling prophecy, where a prediction that, in being made, actually causes itself to become true. If you believe that she will cheat, then she will.

Change that around. Have some confidence in yourself. Why would she cheat on you? Are you a decent guy? Do you treat her well? Does she have feelings for you? Are you not worthy of someone who won't cheat? Those answers all should be yes.

Girls only weekend I can buy, did she tell you the other girls didn't like you, or are you making that assumption. If it's her telling you that, what's her motivation for telling you that someone doesn't like you. That's not something someone who is supposed to care about you would say.

There's a serious pattern to your dating habits, what do these women/girls have in common, besides the cheating thing, do they have similar personalities, similar characteristics? What draws you to them?

You say your confidence has always been low. Why? What would it take to improve your confidence? Confidence comes from you, not from the women/girls you date. Believe in yourself.
I agree completly with you. What you've said reminds me of a teacher that once said, "If you keep doing what you're doing, expect to keep receiving the same results as you've been receiving." (or something like that).

maleficent, I'm always very impressed with your comments. You always seem to hit the nail right on the head, at least from my perspective.

Quote:
Originally posted by metblack85
You and I have very similar situations. While I haven't had a girlfriend die (I'm terribly sorry), I have lost 3 girlfriends to my still best friend. While he has since changed (he found jesus or something, I don't even know), my acquired tendency to worry hasn't. I am going to Boston College this August, while my girlfriend (6 months) is headed down to Delaware.
I worry about her constantly. She loves drinking, and shes going to be 5 hours away from me. She'll probably cheat on me right?
Well, while I worry every day that she'll cheat on me, I miss the obvious (and I should take a dose of my own advice here): she loves me, and has stayed with me for 6 months, and has promised me that she'll stay with me in college. I almost miss the fact that when I go to leave her house every time I'm there, she wraps her arms around my waist and falls to the floor, trying to keep me at her house. An originally prudent girl, she gave her virginity to me recently. What you have to do is look at the signs. They will tell you exactly what she intends to do. If your girl is acting anything like mine, she wants to stay with you as much as you want to stay with her, no matter the distance. If you have faith in her, and give her the benefit of a doubt, theres still a chance she'll break your heart. But if you don't, then there's a 100% chance neither of you will have a happy relationship with the other one. I know its tough, I myself can't even believe im typing this to you, but the fact that I am means it must be true.

The only thing I worry about is her getting shitfaced at some party and doing something that she'll regret. But her character would never allow her to do something like that to me intentionally, and she loves me so much, I'm sure shell safeguard herself in environments like that.

Anyway, I hope this has helped.

It's neat how thinking about a problem from another’s perspective can help you think more clearly about your own, similar, problem, huh? If I’m having a hard time thinking clearly about an emotionally loaded situation, I often imagine a friend dealing with the same thing. It sure does help.

With that in mind, what advice would you give to a friend in a similar situation?

This girl seems like she really loves you, let her have fun. She’ll love you more for it.
__________________
" " - Silent Bob
EVIDENT is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360