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Originally posted by maleficent
Did I read that right? You've been cheated on seven times? With seven differernt women/girls? That's harsh.
There's a thing called self fulfilling prophecy, where a prediction that, in being made, actually causes itself to become true. If you believe that she will cheat, then she will.
Change that around. Have some confidence in yourself. Why would she cheat on you? Are you a decent guy? Do you treat her well? Does she have feelings for you? Are you not worthy of someone who won't cheat? Those answers all should be yes.
Girls only weekend I can buy, did she tell you the other girls didn't like you, or are you making that assumption. If it's her telling you that, what's her motivation for telling you that someone doesn't like you. That's not something someone who is supposed to care about you would say.
There's a serious pattern to your dating habits, what do these women/girls have in common, besides the cheating thing, do they have similar personalities, similar characteristics? What draws you to them?
You say your confidence has always been low. Why? What would it take to improve your confidence? Confidence comes from you, not from the women/girls you date. Believe in yourself.
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I agree completly with you. What you've said reminds me of a teacher that once said, "If you keep doing what you're doing, expect to keep receiving the same results as you've been receiving." (or something like that).
maleficent, I'm always very impressed with your comments. You always seem to hit the nail right on the head, at least from my perspective.
Quote:
Originally posted by metblack85
You and I have very similar situations. While I haven't had a girlfriend die (I'm terribly sorry), I have lost 3 girlfriends to my still best friend. While he has since changed (he found jesus or something, I don't even know), my acquired tendency to worry hasn't. I am going to Boston College this August, while my girlfriend (6 months) is headed down to Delaware.
I worry about her constantly. She loves drinking, and shes going to be 5 hours away from me. She'll probably cheat on me right?
Well, while I worry every day that she'll cheat on me, I miss the obvious (and I should take a dose of my own advice here): she loves me, and has stayed with me for 6 months, and has promised me that she'll stay with me in college. I almost miss the fact that when I go to leave her house every time I'm there, she wraps her arms around my waist and falls to the floor, trying to keep me at her house. An originally prudent girl, she gave her virginity to me recently. What you have to do is look at the signs. They will tell you exactly what she intends to do. If your girl is acting anything like mine, she wants to stay with you as much as you want to stay with her, no matter the distance. If you have faith in her, and give her the benefit of a doubt, theres still a chance she'll break your heart. But if you don't, then there's a 100% chance neither of you will have a happy relationship with the other one. I know its tough, I myself can't even believe im typing this to you, but the fact that I am means it must be true.
The only thing I worry about is her getting shitfaced at some party and doing something that she'll regret. But her character would never allow her to do something like that to me intentionally, and she loves me so much, I'm sure shell safeguard herself in environments like that.
Anyway, I hope this has helped.
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It's neat how thinking about a problem from another’s perspective can help you think more clearly about your own, similar, problem, huh? If I’m having a hard time thinking clearly about an emotionally loaded situation, I often imagine a friend dealing with the same thing. It sure does help.
With that in mind, what advice would you give to a friend in a similar situation?
This girl seems like she really loves you, let her have fun. She’ll love you more for it.